How it feels NOT to be a fun mum

Us mums and dads are pretty familiar with the feelings of guilt associated with being a parent. Shirking our responsibilities by daring to go out for dinner with the other half, giving the baby one too many Ella’s pouches (ok, only Ella’s pouches), letting the toddler watch those bloody annoying, brain scrambling Kinder egg videos on YouTube just to keep them quiet. We’ve all been there (even though some pretend that they haven’t). But the greatest feeling of guilt for me, has to be how “fun” I am…or not as the case may be.

BC (before Coco) I considered myself to be pretty fun. Whilst I have never been an adventure lovin’ kind of girl, friends could always talk me into a night out with no trouble and I was at my happiest on a sweaty dance floor shaking what my mamma gave me. I had (have) the same sense of humour as a pre-pubescent boy and a pal once described me as their “most fun friend” – a proud moment indeed. Before the kids arrived I was confident that this sense of fun would automatically transfer, and we would while away the hours laughing together at how silly mummy is and how bloody funny I am.

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Whilst I’m certainly not a total misery guts all the time, I am most definitely not the fun loving mum I imagined. Yes, I of course make the kids laugh; we sing songs, play games, all sorts. But I am no Mary Poppins. It is simply impossible to keep up the happy, happy face 24/7. I get tired, and frustrated, and quite frankly, fed up. On long car journeys when I’m trying to concentrate, and Coco is pulling faces shouting “look at me” (refer to Coco’s top tips for causing a mummy meltdown), I know I should distract her by singing jollily to nursery rhymes, or play a game of who can spot the red bus first, but sometimes I just can’t face it, so grumpy silence descends instead. We try and spend time doing the fun stuff at home… baking, play dough, painting, general tomfoolery…but more often than not the fun is short lived, a tantrum takes place, and CBeebies wins again. Then to top it off Topsy & Tim comes on and makes me feel even worse. I mean, on what planet would a mum happily agree to have the whole pre-school class back to the house unexpectedly, and then provide homemade biscuits and drinks in perfectly coordinated coloured cups! She’d be thinking “for f*cks sake”, whilst simultaneously digging around in the cupboard for stale digestives.

As with everything we feel guilty about as parents, I know deep down that we really shouldn’t. The kids are happy most of the time, they are well fed, clean, read to every night, and have enough toys to stock a Toys ‘R Us super store. They don’t do half bad, and when we’re all just trying to do our best, we should cut ourselves a little slack. It’s ok to be Sullen Susan sometimes. Topsy and Tim’s mum must have obviously just missed the memo.

Gemma x

I'm linking up with Modern Dad Pages #wineandboobs
I’m linking up with Modern Dad Pages #wineandboobs

12 thoughts

  1. Not being fun enough is a secret guilt of many parents I think! Perhaps we are so busy trying to be ‘good’ at parenting that it’s all too precious and pressured and anxious… I found it much easier to relax once my children approached their teenage years – maybe because they are more independent and there is less running around doing daily-grind stuff? Or maybe because being fun doesn’t involve playing any more (and I am rubbish at playing!).

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  2. Aww this is great! I sometimes worry about being too ‘fun’ as in not enough structure/ice cream for breakfast. I’m sure these things will go up and down throughout our parenting career.

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    1. I certainly hope it goes in waves too. My toddler told me this week that Daddy was the best mummy in the world and that I was a bad mummy *bullet to the heart!* I know she doesn’t mean it, she just knows exactly what buttons to press, clever little sod. Thank you so much for reading! x

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  3. It’s a normal feeling as the kids all they want to do is have fun! Once a day though I do try and do a little something fun with them even if it’s just playing UNO and we have a laugh! Thanks for linking on #wineandboobs

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  4. It’s all relative isn’t it? Worry not. You’re doing way better than me. There’s nothing quite like enduring the mess of baking or playdough to fill me with dread. I’m super fun with my friends. Not with my kids. #wineandboobs

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