Fantasy vs reality: my new year’s resolutions 2016

It’s the beginning of December (pinch, punch, first of the month) and so there is surely no better time than to start thinking about my resolutions for next year.  As the ultimate queen of the wish list, I am always plotting, scheming and devising ways in which to improve my lot (despite it being pretty bloody wonderful already).  But the reality versus the fantasy is always somewhat different.  Here are a few examples of how…


Fantasy: Grab the bull by the horns and make a new career out of writing with the hope of ultimately bashing out a book in the next five hundred years

Reality:  Keep writing the blog (which is pretty cool) whilst boring my husband to death with my daydreams of becoming a professional writer


Fantasy: Get back from holiday and take control of my diet in a breezy easy fashion involving organic fruit smoothies and steamed fish and veg, resulting in a better body than Gisele just in time for summer

Reality: Start diet full of gusto, lose a few pounds and, after a crap night’s sleep courtesy of you know who, find solace in a Tiffin Tin curry – that stuff is just too darn good!


Fantasy: In line with the above, start cooking from scratch more often, filling the kids to the brim with delicious dinners and a diet packed with fresh fruit and veg

Reality: Resolve to feed them fish fingers just once a week rather than the usual 2-3 servings, with a side of sweetcorn of course!


Fantasy: Chuck out the old maternity crap still lingering on the clothes rails and replace with quality, stylish clothes which flatters my new, non cellulitey, figure

Reality: Chuck on my comfy, worn, maternity jeans from my pregnancy with Coco to accommodate the food baby post Tiffin Tin curry – I’m telling you, that stuff is too darn good!


Fantasy: Take time out from the kids regularly to go to yoga / pilates / the gym, become calmer, and ultimately a better person in the process

Reality: Go for the odd massage or dinner with friends, served with a side order of chips… and guilt


Fantasy: As a result of all the lovely “me” time, be light and breezy / kind and considerate and on hand for shags whenever the mood takes us

Reality: Resolve to nag only when I really need to and try and shag at least once a week (at most!)


Fantasy: Plan a roster of fun, exciting activities for the kids throughout the summer thus keeping moaning to a minimum.  Look composed at all times with mascara that doesn’t smudge

Reality: Keep the mummy meltdowns to one a month rather than 2015’s one a week, and ideally hide said breakdowns from kids.  Wear mascara that doesn’t smudge


Fantasy: Get the baby in a regular routine resulting in lovely two hour naps, quality time with the toddler, and a long restful night’s sleep

Reality: Attempt not to dissolve into above mentioned mummy meltdown when the baby doesn’t nap for the hundredth day in the row


Fantasy:  Keep the house in a state ready for guests at all times and finally make my way through my never-ending to-do list, resulting in a home that could grace the pages of ELLE Decoration

Reality: Keep on top of the washing, dishwasher, toys etc etc, add to the never-ending to-do list and ultimately stop the house looking like this…

The dining room (blatant play room)
The dining room (blatant play room)

Having realised this list of resolutions may be slightly unrealistic I’ve decided it’s time for prioritise and, even though I would LOVE to lose the cellulite, focus on what will make me happiest which is… writing (in whatever form), keeping the kids alive, and doing whatever is necessary to save my sanity – the ultimate recipe for happiness and wellbeing in 2016 surely!?

Gemma x




4 thoughts

  1. I have only one resolution – to buy a new kitchen tap that has been leaking for nearly a year. Getting it installed would be a bonus!


  2. Hah! Made me laugh. I can relate to the writing (ongoing and never ending), preparing healthy meals (always say I’ll do more and never do), having more me time (ditto), being nice to the husband (lasts 2 minutes) and keeping the house tidy (must try harder). Good luck with your resolutions! x


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