It’s the beginning of December (pinch, punch, first of the month) and so there is surely no better time than to start thinking about my resolutions for next year. As the ultimate queen of the wish list, I am always plotting, scheming and devising ways in which to improve my lot (despite it being pretty bloody wonderful already). But the reality versus the fantasy is always somewhat different. Here are a few examples of how…
WRITE A BOOK
Fantasy: Grab the bull by the horns and make a new career out of writing with the hope of ultimately bashing out a book in the next five hundred years
Reality: Keep writing the blog (which is pretty cool) whilst boring my husband to death with my daydreams of becoming a professional writer
LOSE THE BABY WEIGHT
Fantasy: Get back from holiday and take control of my diet in a breezy easy fashion involving organic fruit smoothies and steamed fish and veg, resulting in a better body than Gisele just in time for summer
Reality: Start diet full of gusto, lose a few pounds and, after a crap night’s sleep courtesy of you know who, find solace in a Tiffin Tin curry – that stuff is just too darn good!
PREPARE HEALTHY MEALS AT HOME
Fantasy: In line with the above, start cooking from scratch more often, filling the kids to the brim with delicious dinners and a diet packed with fresh fruit and veg
Reality: Resolve to feed them fish fingers just once a week rather than the usual 2-3 servings, with a side of sweetcorn of course!
RENEW MY WARDROBE
Fantasy: Chuck out the old maternity crap still lingering on the clothes rails and replace with quality, stylish clothes which flatters my new, non cellulitey, figure
Reality: Chuck on my comfy, worn, maternity jeans from my pregnancy with Coco to accommodate the food baby post Tiffin Tin curry – I’m telling you, that stuff is too darn good!
HAVE MORE “ME” TIME
Fantasy: Take time out from the kids regularly to go to yoga / pilates / the gym, become calmer, and ultimately a better person in the process
Reality: Go for the odd massage or dinner with friends, served with a side order of chips… and guilt
BE NICE TO MY HUSBAND
Fantasy: As a result of all the lovely “me” time, be light and breezy / kind and considerate and on hand for shags whenever the mood takes us
Reality: Resolve to nag only when I really need to and try and shag at least once a week (at most!)
SAUNTER THROUGH SUMMER
Fantasy: Plan a roster of fun, exciting activities for the kids throughout the summer thus keeping moaning to a minimum. Look composed at all times with mascara that doesn’t smudge
Reality: Keep the mummy meltdowns to one a month rather than 2015’s one a week, and ideally hide said breakdowns from kids. Wear mascara that doesn’t smudge
ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE
Fantasy: Get the baby in a regular routine resulting in lovely two hour naps, quality time with the toddler, and a long restful night’s sleep
Reality: Attempt not to dissolve into above mentioned mummy meltdown when the baby doesn’t nap for the hundredth day in the row
HOME SWEET HOME
Fantasy: Keep the house in a state ready for guests at all times and finally make my way through my never-ending to-do list, resulting in a home that could grace the pages of ELLE Decoration
Reality: Keep on top of the washing, dishwasher, toys etc etc, add to the never-ending to-do list and ultimately stop the house looking like this…
Having realised this list of resolutions may be slightly unrealistic I’ve decided it’s time for prioritise and, even though I would LOVE to lose the cellulite, focus on what will make me happiest which is… writing (in whatever form), keeping the kids alive, and doing whatever is necessary to save my sanity – the ultimate recipe for happiness and wellbeing in 2016 surely!?