As some of you may know, we recently returned from a few fun-filled weeks in Florida. As the husband is up to his eye-balls in ice cream throughout the summer months this is our only chance to catch some serious rays as a family of four (five counting Grandma Mags). We made the most of our time sunning ourselves on the local sandy white beaches (and sharing the smug photos on instagram to prove it) but before everyone presses a firm double delete on the post, let me tell you the real story via the photos that DIDN’T make social media.
Let me start by saying that although we did hit up some beautiful sandy white beaches there was also a lot of this…. Oh and a couple of tornados. Resulting in plenty of lock myself in the loo and count to ten moments.
As well as tornados, there were also plenty of shit storms courtesy of my darling daughter. In this picture some kid had dived in front of the cardboard cat before her at Naples Zoo, which would piss you off too, right? Of course the baby also liked to wade in for good measure, tearing up Whole Foods and scaring the pensioners with his ear piercing screams. Here he is giving me the stink eye….
I’m cheating here as I did actually post this bad boy on Instagram (who doesn’t love a kid in an oversized astronauts costume) and I did mention the incident with Miss Pee Pee Pants, but for those who missed it, Coco unfortunately did have a slight accident in the shop area at the amazing Naples Childrens’ Museum just before this picture was taken. Sadly resulting in the whole area being closed for thirty minutes whilst they did a deep clean #samedaydifferentcountry
It would have been very easy to convince you, via the smokescreen that is social media, that whilst sunning myself I was also being very saintly in the food stakes and only eating things like this…
When actually I was gorging myself on food like this….
As we were lucky enough to spend three weeks Stateside we decided we drop over to Disney for the day, like you do. We had also been bribing Coco with the trip for the last year so it was only fair. At the risk of losing my street cred (ha!), I bloody love a theme park so I was only disappointed we couldn’t stay longer. But there is a reason why the hotel stocked headache tablets and didn’t stock condoms.
I hold up my hands and say we genuinely loved Disney, and Coco was deliriously happy for most of the day, but that didn’t stop poor Elsa getting snubbed. Well worth the hour wait 😉
The tantrums flowed thick and fast on a daily basis, no one slept (and definitely not in their own beds), the house was a bomb site by the first week in, and I was always too bloated to bust out the bikini, but we had the very BEST time in Naples.
To check out the slicker version 😉 you can follow my Instagram account @coffeekidsicecream