Some big changes are afoot in the Coffee, Kids & Ice Cream household. Not only is Coco starting proper school nursery this week, but I am also heading back to school. However this time I learning how to write a book and, much like Coco, I’m shitting myself.
When it comes to my abilities, there are four things I excel at:
- Bustin’ a move on the dance floor (Always first one up, last one off – 90s R&B helps, as does wine)
- Making a cracking tuna melt
- Changing a nappy in under 30 seconds
- Eating a super sized bar of Galaxy without being sick
But when it comes to work (outside my full-time gig of mum where I am mostly losing my shit too) I am having a serious crisis of confidence. Since hanging up my full-time PR shoes over four years ago I have bashed out the odd blog post and pulled together some small PR campaigns, but after spending what feels like an eternity wiping bums and referring mini fist fights, am I really ready to become a professional writer?
AM I GOOD ENOUGH?
This is same bastard question that metaphorically jabs me in the ribs on pretty much an hourly basis on the topic of motherhood too. The guilt gremlin just LOVES wondering why I haven’t cleaned the bath mat for a month (or six) or why I’m cooking fish fingers for a fourth time this week. But on this particular occasion the questions rattling around my pea sized brain are more along the lines of…
Will I be the only one without an in-depth knowledge of The Man Booker Prize? Probably.
Will anyone else be a self-confessed chick lit addict with a slight obsession with Lisa Jewel? Maybe.
Will I say something ridiculous and completely embarrass myself on the first day? Absolutely.
But in response to the big question, “AM I GOOD ENOUGH?” I’ve decided my answer is MAYBE.
I totally understand why Coco is so apprehensive about starting her new school – it’s super scary! Meeting a new teacher, your new classmates, in a brand new place. To be fair, if I had the opportunity, I’m pretty sure I would be clinging to the hem of my mum’s skirt, sobbing like a four year old on day one too.
But I am going to tell myself the same thing I have told Coco. I will be GREAT and the best thing you can be is yourself (or in my case, a slightly diluted version).
I’m so lucky to have the opportunity to do learn something I love and hopefully, one day, I’ll make a few bob from it too. But in the meantime the main thing is that I’m giving it a punt and, fingers crossed (if I don’t make a complete arse out of myself), I’ll make a few friends along the way as well.
Wish me luck!